Aunt Laya
Sad? 04/04/2012
 
I was out shopping and heard crying. I turned to look. What I saw was a little family walking: a mom, a dad, a little boy crying, and a baby in a stroller. The mom and dad were not alarmed, the baby was peaceful, the boy was upset. Did he want something that his parents didn't give him? Was it time for his nap? Something upset him, but in the scheme of things, what ever he was bummed about didn't seem to be alarming to anyone around.  

Now, his feelings were real to him. He (and everyone for that matter) deserved to be related to with sensitivity and kindness. And, at the same time, nothing tragic was really going on.

For me, it was the perfect reflection of my life that day. I wasn't feeling well when I saw that scene. I wasn't actually crying on the outside, but I felt like I could have been. Still, from a wider perspective, the "not feeling well" of that moment was OK. Especially considering that just two days before I was in terrible pain with food poisoning. So on a pain scale, the pain I was feeling wasn't that high. Truth is, I have a great life and I have a LOT to be grateful about. Still, I get to have my feelings. The cool thing is that I also have a choice about how quickly or slowly I want to move through the little challenges. (Hooray for options and choices.)

Understanding all of this didn't make me feel physically any better. But it did help me get perspective. That was helpful. 

So maybe this story will help you get perspective too. When you're sad and crying, consider the big picture of your life and you may find that things are not as bad as you thought.

Love,
Aunt Laya
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Of course, I don't really mean a real shower or bath. I'm talking about the cleaning up of the emotions or thoughts. It's a theme here. :-)

What makes me an "expert" is that I have studied this area of life extensively. And I practice what I preach, too. In graduate school, we walked the walk; all the work we did to learn counseling skills was turned inwardly. As one person said to me, "Well, it makes sense: you can't wash windows if your glasses are dirty." Since I graduated (over 20 years ago!), I have continued to read books, attend lectures and online summits, even as I have written, given speeches, and been interviewed.

Guess what? Life continues to bring challenges into my life! I don't get out of it. So even as I share the ways to lift your spirit or live your dreams, I also face my own personal challenges. I apply all the same tools to my life as I recommend to you. I experiment on myself and if it works for me, I share.

If I'm the "expert" then I should have mastered this by now, don't you think? But that's as silly as saying that if I exercised for two years, that I don't need to exercise any more.
We eat, are sated, digest, get hungry, eat again.
We exercise, we rest, we need to move again.

Water is like emotions, they can be fluid, steamy hot, or icy cold. So to keep your emotional self healthy, you sometimes need to talk about it, sometimes let it go, sometimes transform, and all the time forgive (the truest form of letting go). It's like bathing. You bathe but that doesn't mean you're done for life just because you took one shower. You have to keep yourself clean.

Remember what bathing was like as a kid? You didn't always want to get into that tub. But usually, once you did, you could have some fun getting clean. So, take the risk of getting your thoughts and feelings clean and clear. Ask for help if you need help and don't stop until you get the clarity that brings you true inner peace. It won't last forever. You'll need to process again, but each time you do, you'll come out "smelling like roses." It's worth it!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thanks to morguefile.com and 
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best life!