I love you enough to tell you the truth. Complaining doesn't do a dang thing. Complaining won't make your life better. In fact, it will drag you down, down, down into the depths of deeper crap.
We all know that hard things happen in life. There are things in life worth crying about. The loss of a loved one, you have to grieve. The loss of a pet, you need to grieve. But mostly crying about what is wrong with your life doesn't fix it. It doesn't lift you, and it doesn't make things different.
NEWS FLASH... Unhappiness does not bring happiness!!!
Blowing off steam is over rated. I've tried it thinking it might have some value is helping to get past things that have upset me. It just increases the upset to go over things again and again. YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Want love in your life? Don't cry about being lonely, JOY is what will attract love.
Want success in your life? No more waaa waaa waaa! Imagine the most successful people you know--what ever the area of success--and I'll bet you don't hear a lot of whining from them.
Complaining is a habit that you have to change. It will not be comfortable and it may not be easy. It may even take some effort. Like the effort to look around your life and find a reason a day to be happy.
Create a new habit of noticing and acknowledging things that will make you feel good. This is a place to start. You can do this!
The walnut tree in my back yard lost the last of its leaves for winter. We're past the fall now and full on into the winter. And the walnut tree just looks stagnant, like it's just taking a break from producing anything. Only on closer examination, you can se the tips of the trees are ready to burst open at the first sign of spring!
Just because you may feel like not much is happening in your life, doesn't mean that things are stagnant. Energy moves in waves and cycles. Sometimes you just need to lay low. When the next wave of energy rises within you, trust that you can catch that wave for some new movement. Visualize what you want for yourself in your life. See it clearly and trust that the opportunity will arise for you to step into what you envision. Be ready to take action in the right time! It doesn't all happen at once and it doesn't happen on demand either.
Hang in there. You are precious and good just exactly where you are right now.
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Sometimes you gotta get stuff off your chest, rant, blow off some steam. But that doesn't mean you have to do it in a destructive way. Gossip, talking about other people, is a pretty destructive way to go. It won't really help you in the long run, and in truth, gossiping about other people will hurt you, the listener, and the subject in ways we don't even fathom.
That's not to say you can't talk about things ever but when other people are involved, caution is important. Once you let the words go, you can't get them back.
One way I have dealt with my hardest of feelings, hurt, anger, disappointment and so on, is to write it out. Let it loose and say what you need to say. The idea here is that you will not be sending it. Just spill out the feelings and get clear. Clear out the hurt and anger and maybe even get clear about what you need to learn from the situation, if you can.
Some people rip up the paper after they write the letter. Some people even burn it up. I was very upset about a few things and wrote a bunch of letters in my journal. At first I thought I might send them but in the end, I felt better and there was no reason to send the letters. That would not have served anyone at all.
The issue here is how you are inside yourself when times or relationships are challenging. You'll be happier and more peaceful inside your own skin and that will have a ripple effect in positive ways.
So, spill your guts onto paper and then let it go. Delete the hurt and keep the growth.
When you feel helpless and you feel like crying, that is a time to be very tender with yourself. Sometimes it's a time to be alone, and sometimes it's a time to reach out and ask for help.
Sometimes people feel helpless because someone has done something to hurt them, or sometimes we're just too hard on ourselves. Sometimes we're just in a down cycle, sometimes we're sick. There are lots of reasons.
Here's the main thing I want you to know:
You are not alone.
You are not alone.
You are not alone.
You can reach out and ask for help.
You can reach out and ask for a hug.
Ask for a hug.
It's okay to ask for help and hugs.
One thing I do when I feel overwhelmed is to pick just one small thing that I CAN do. Then I do it. Then I pick one more small thing. You can do that too.
Sometimes, you really just need to rest. No one can do it all and we all need to just be gentle sometimes. Be sure you've had enough good food to eat and water to drink. Or maybe you need chocolate? Or... hugs.
Ask for help when you need help.
Take a deep breath; take a step back from what ever is upsetting you. Talk it over with someone you trust, someone you know is wise.
Remember, YOU are the song the morning brings.
Live the extraordinary life you deserve.
Aunt Laya inspires and encourages you to live the life you want for yourself! She'll tell you the truth, even when it's not always so easy to hear so that you can learn to handle the hard stuff of life and be your best, happiest self. Always with love and caring.