The problem with communication is that people think it's done just because they said something one time.
You think you told your _______ (fill in the blank: spouse, friend, parent, child, coworker, employee, employer...) about ______ (fill in the blank: your plans, your thoughts, your feelings, when you are coming home etc.) and in fact you did say what you wanted to say. But could they really hear you?
Sometimes I'm working on the computer (like right now when I write these posts) and my husband says something to me. I am in another world. Even though we are in the same room, I may not even register anything more than the fact that he just said something, but what ever the heck he said, it didn't register.
Guideline #1: Make sure you are both fully present. Have eye contact and that the person you're speaking with is really with you and not in another mental realm.
Guideline #2: Benefit of the doubt.
Assume harmless intentions.
How many times have you said something with only good intentions just to have the other person jump all over you like you just attacked? Or have you been on the other end, and thought the other person was putting you down only to discover later that wasn't the case at all?
Once someone said something that could have been taken as a complete put down. The man that said it to me was a great teacher and very generous of spirit so I took it as feedback. I made a comment that horrified him because he then understood how I misunderstood what he meant. He was actually trying to be modest of his own position, not put me down. Wow, so glad that was cleared up.
Apply these two simple tips for better connections in communicating. Over time these tips will add up to much better results.
Well, the forum didn't get the attention that I thought it might and the truth is, I have some other projects that are taking priority. Still, there was a wonderful post about parenting teens that is right here in the comments of this post that will be here to nourish parents of teens. I have a "to do" list which includes more on parenting teens and resources and I'll post when that's online.
Ok, so many come to look around the website, read the posts etc. (I get the stats.) So please know that if you have the courage to post--whether it's with a question or with advice, your participation can benefit lots of people over time. I look forward to every voice!
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