 Tough love.
I love you enough to tell you the truth. Complaining doesn't do a dang thing. Complaining won't make your life better. In fact, it will drag you down, down, down into the depths of deeper crap. We all know that hard things happen in life. There are things in life worth crying about. The loss of a loved one, you have to grieve. The loss of a pet, you need to grieve. But mostly crying about what is wrong with your life doesn't fix it. It doesn't lift you, and it doesn't make things different. NEWS FLASH... Unhappiness does not bring happiness!!! Blowing off steam is over rated. I've tried it thinking it might have some value is helping to get past things that have upset me. It just increases the upset to go over things again and again. YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Want love in your life? Don't cry about being lonely, JOY is what will attract love. Want success in your life? No more waaa waaa waaa! Imagine the most successful people you know--what ever the area of success--and I'll bet you don't hear a lot of whining from them. Complaining is a habit that you have to change. It will not be comfortable and it may not be easy. It may even take some effort. Like the effort to look around your life and find a reason a day to be happy. Create a new habit of noticing and acknowledging things that will make you feel good. This is a place to start. You can do this! Love, Aunt Laya
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 What is the secret to happiness? It's not really that complicated.
Step into gratitude. I just heard the quote, "If you're grateful for everything, you're grateful for nothing," and that means get detailed with your gratitude. I just took a workshop that taught us to be very detailed with gratitude. How detailed? Well, think of something you're grateful for. Do you love to paint? How about the hairs of smallest brush you have or the color carmine red? Are you grateful for summer? Well, how about gratitude for the leaves of your favorite shade tree, or the pulp in lemons? Are you starting to get the idea? So here's the thing: You have to practice gratitude every day; really do it. Personally I usually start each morning with a very short prayer of gratitude for coming back into the world. I like to go to sleep listing things I'm grateful for as I fall asleep. When I'm really feeling down, I like to play what I call "The Gratitude Game" with my husband or a friend. Take turns listing things you're grateful for. If you find it hard to think about what you might be grateful for, then this is really the right exercise for you. Think about the sparkle on the greeting card you got. Think about the knobs on the drawers that make them easy to open. Think about the filter on your faucet so you don't get sand in your water. Still not sure? Experiment with this daily for a month and I guarantee your life and attitude will change for the better. You will feel better and happier. Start now.  It may seem like you're trying and trying to change things in your life but nothing's changing, nothing's moving. I am here to tell you my dear reader, that even if you don't see results right now, you are effecting change in your life.
Each small change you make will, over time, have a big impact. If you eat at a fast food restaurant one time it's not really a big deal. But if you each fast food every day, you will gain weight. If you study a new language one time, you will not speak a new language. But if you study every day for a set time--even five minutes a day--you will learn to speak that new language. Same with exercise of course. If you exercise only one time, even for five hours, it will not have the same impact as exercising every day for 15 or 20 minutes. The small changes you make in your life do have an impact even if you don't see it right away. So stay strong, be patient, and keep on making those little tweaks so that you are loving and living happier and healthier. You really can do this! Love, Aunt Laya Ah, the power of a good deed. Do it even if no one else can see it.
Love, Aunt Laya  Want to be happy? You have to choose it. There are abundant opportunities to be sad, angry, bummed, disappointed. But happiness? You have to grab it with both hands and cling to the idea and feelings like a pit bull with a bone! This is no small thing.
Now, just because you decide that you want to be happy is not a guarantee. But it has to start with the decision and commitment. Let's say you want to clean your bathroom. You can want a clean bathroom all day long but eventually you'll have to pick up a sponge or a rag or a toilet brush and start scrubbing. Right? If you only have time to spray and wipe down the mirror, that's ok, now your mirror is clean and that's a great start. Get the idea? Decide you want happiness and then take action to create the habits and mindset of happiness. A happy life does not happen all at once. You work for it. You commit to it. You take action to clean away the muck and mire. Little by little your choices add up. The kind of music you listen to, the people you spend time with, the entertainment you choose, the way you talk to yourself and others, etc. If you want to be fit, you don't work out all in one day, you have to change your food and activity. Make sense? So for happiness, dig in and plan your emotional, physical, and mental environments to clear out what isn't working and implement what does bring you joy, true joy. Step by step. And Providence will step in as your partner in joy. How about starting out by generously sharing your smile? Experiment with greeting someone new warmly, as if he or she is an old friend. Let me know what happens. Love, Aunt Laya Thanks to Scott Liddlle (hotblack) and Morguefile.com for the great photo! |
Live the extraordinary life you deserve.
Aunt Laya
Aunt Laya inspires and encourages you to live the life you want for yourself! She'll tell you the truth, even when it's not always so easy to hear so that you can learn to handle the hard stuff of life and be your best, happiest self. Always with love and caring. Archives
October 2022
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