Bad guys (and women) don't look like bad guys. They may friend you on social media or catch you at the mall. They may hang out with you for months before they make a move. They may seem nice. But they are lying to get what they want, and what they want will hurt you. They only care about the fix they will get for themselves (like money or sex).

They are very cunning, smooth talking tricksters. They can manipulate people to get what they want. Predators might make it appear like they're not strangers. One tactic predators use is to "friend" someone, and that can be in real life or on social media. If it's online, they probably have a fake profile with fake photos to give the illusion of being someone they are not (like more attractive or younger or safer).

The thing about a liar is that they lie. And they're good at it. They  know where people young and old are vulnerable. They know the weaknesses of their victims. Everyone, everyone,  has vulnerabilities. The smooth talking liars and the frightening liars want to put people in a position that they can't defend themselves.

They are lying when they say they are friends.
They are lying when they say they understand (they do understand vulnerabilities).
They are lying when they say they can solve your problems.
They are lying when they turn cruel and say that their victims are worthless or undeserving.
Liars lie.
They may start one way but then use theft, violence, or fear.

Some of you know this hard story already, but you haven't reached the end of the story. Because in the end you can be safe, you can be protected, you can heal.

Stay awake. Stay safe.
If you are caught in the trap of a liar right now, reach out for help.

You are loved. You are lovable.

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It's not "business as usual." During this time of Coronavirus we've got some challenges. Here are a few encouraging thoughts.
Love,
Aunt Laya

Wednesday, March 18
Thursday, March 19
You can download this book to your device from Amazon here: www.tinyurl.com/auntlaya

Written from the heart for your heart.
Love,
Aunt Laya

All teens deserve the best opportunities and guidance to succeed. The question is why do some parents feel challenged in guiding their teens to success. We have some easy answers from the experts, including myself! Click here and learn the secrets in how to best guide your teen to lead happy and healthy lives. - Free for a Limited Time! Click here!

#KeenOnTeens
I hope to see you there!

Love,
Aunt Laya

 Happy Day of Love!
Everyone, young, old, and in between needs to hear they are loved. Here's an easy way to express your love or to breathe in the love that is meant for you!

To share the love, we're giving away the children's picture book, "I Love You So Much" as a free download on Amazon. Feb 13, 14, 15, 2020

You really are so loved and you really are so lovable.
Take it to heart, have the courage let it in!
And of course, share with those you love!
Aunt Laya

You barely have to change anything to change everything.
Whaaat?
If you change your direction by just a few degrees (remember geometry?) and you've changed your destination entirely!

You don't have to do that much to change your whole life.
Sometimes we get so caught up in feeling overwhelmed that we do nothing.
People wallow in their pain or debt or unhealthy relationships.
You can complain or you can take one more step in the direction you want to head. Is your space a cluttered mess? Just clear one drawer or table top, just one. When that happens, there is a domino effect, everything else will move. It may be slow, but it will move. Feeling lonely? One small smile to someone else can change the whole day. Feeling stuck? One phone call might just get things moving. Get the idea?

So, be brave in a small way. Change one small thing in your world for the better. One small change. Attitude, environment, action.

You've got this!
Love,
Aunt Laya

“Fight for your position, and it’s yours.”
A wise man said that to me and it took a while for the lesson of it to sink in. It finally did so I’m here to share the power of that wisdom with you.
 
If you feel like a victim and you want to prove to someone else—or the world—that you are a victim: You are a victim. You choose powerlessness. You choose limitation.
 
If life isn’t fair and you want to hang on to the way you’ve gotten the raw end of the deal, guess what? You get to wallow in the hurt and anger.
 
Psychologist and holocaust survivor Edith Egar said, ““If you blame, you’re still a child.” So, are you ready to grow into something freer and happier? Growing is never ending so go gently: it's not about beating yourself up for mistakes. It is about claiming the glorious gift of freedom!
 
Instead of mentally chaining yourself to the prison of dark thoughts try asking yourself “What is the attitude that will best serve me right now?” You may find answers that improve your life. If you can’t come up with a good shift to make, reach out. (Well, you’re here so you’re on it!)
 
The idea here is to steer your thoughts on purpose.
Your thoughts create your emotions.
So what are the emotions you want to spend your time in?
 
Every one of us has the same twenty-four hours in a day.
What makes those hours become pleasure or pain?
Attitude!
 
It is natural to want to process the hurtful thing that someone said or did—and sometimes that really does need to happen and maybe even with a professional who can teach you the tools to release the pain and move toward the pleasure.
 
It’s your choice. It’s a real choice.
What happens to you in life is not always about choice.
How you respond to what happens is always your choice.
 
You don’t have to do this alone. Find a few people you admire and ask for advice. If you want to know how to lay bricks, you ask a bricklayer. If you want to know how to have a happy relationship, you ask someone in a long time happy relationship. Look for the successful people in your world and find out what they do to keep a good attitude in life.
 
This bears repeating:
It’s your choice. It’s a real choice.
What happens to you in life is not always about choice.
How you respond to what happens is always your choice.

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Photo by Kaley Dykstra on Unsplash

 Anxiety is defined as feelings of apprehension and fear that can manifest in a number of different disorders such as phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, approximately 40 million Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder. Some causes of anxiety are obvious, but in this article, we’ll look at some that are a bit more surprising.
 
Imbalance in Your Nutrition
 
The link between what you eat and mental health has been established by several studies out over the last few years. These studies have shown that if you’re not eating well-balanced meals, you are more likely to have issues with mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. In this article from Harvard Medical School, the importance of food rich in magnesium (spinach and legumes), zinc (cashews and liver), B vitamins (almonds and avocado), and omega 3 fatty acids (fatty fish like wild salmon) is explored. Persons who incorporate these items into their diet were shown to have fewer periods of anxiety. If you can’t easily add these foods to your diet, consider getting a multivitamin supplement that would balance your nutrition.
 
Use of Medications and Alcohol
 
While there are times when people may use alcohol and illegal drugs to help them cope with anxiety, this will likely only make the symptoms of anxiety worse in the long run. The effects are most obvious in persons who have generalized anxiety disorder and those who suffer from panic attacks. It’s best to stay away from these substances and find safer, more effective ways of managing your anxiety. Unfortunately, according to the Summit Medical Group, triggers for anxiety may also lie in over-the-counter medications, such as cough medicine, and the prescription medications that you take for illnesses such as asthma and Parkinson’s disease. You can combat this by reading the information on your medication carefully and contacting your physician for clarification if you need it.
 
Undiagnosed Heart Disease
 
One of the symptoms of heart disease is heart palpitations, which can also happen to someone with an anxiety disorder. For people with heart disease, anxiety seems to be a constant companion, which may, at times, make the effect of heart disease on the body worse. There are times when the onset of an anxiety disorder, particularly a panic attack, can be an indication that something is wrong with your heart. It’s best to communicate with your physician if you have any concerns regarding your heart. It’s also helpful to know the difference between a heart attack and a panic attack so you can contact health personnel in a timely manner.
 
Overactive Thyroid Gland
 
Your thyroid gland is responsible for releasing hormones that control important bodily functions such as your metabolism, breathing and your heart rate. If your thyroid is releasing an increased quantity of these hormones, you’ll likely experience increased anxiety and an increased heart rate. In the beginning, it may be difficult to tell if your anxiety symptoms have changed, but as the thyroid conditions worsen, you’ll be better able to pinpoint when things are going wrong. In this case, you will need to pay very close attention to any changes in your anxiety disorder and communicate them to your physician in a timely manner.
 
Dealing with anxiety can be hard, especially when it comes to developing coping strategies and deciding on the use of medication. It’s important to ensure that you are in touch with the right physicians who can help you and that you don’t ignore any changes in your symptoms.

Jennifer Scott is a single mom and a mental health advocate based in Philadelphia who shares stories about the ups and downs of her anxiety and depression at spiritfinder.org. She also provides information on her website for people with mental illness as well as offers a forum where those living with anxiety and depression can discuss their experiences. Jennifer hopes that through this, people can see the types of steps and success stories that can help them realize their power in the face of adversity.

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

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Oh, and how I love to read your comments!

Question: 
Why does the past always have to come back and make you suffer in the present? Is the past always going to be coming back to you? Does your past always haunt you for the rest of your life? Will your past ever stay in the past?
 
Answer: 
These are such significant questions. There are several layers to all of this.

First of all, all of life has purpose and meaning. Sometimes we get the wrong idea that we’re supposed to live happily ever after. We are supposed to enjoy the gift of life, but it’s not like in the movies—like you solve one challenge and then you’re free to have fun. We do get fun, but we’ll always have the next test too. It’s just part of what makes up this crazy and wonderful life. We’re supposed to grow, and the tests we come up against actually shape us to be better and better. The issue is the way we meet the tests and the way we relate to the issues that come up—including the past.
 
There are different ways the past comes into the present. If it is through the memory of past events, you can change your thinking to leave the past in the past.  There are different ways to do this—it could be that time heals it or it could be that you learn how to release memories that don’t serve you. When a bad memory comes up it could be that you need to face it and tell it head on that it does not have power over you any more. It could be that you need to have a good look at that experience and grab the lessons. The hardest part of making mistakes or having hard things happen in our lives is the way we frame them. An example of that is a woman who felt abandoned by her father. She cried and cried for years until she understood that she would not be the strong woman she was—she learned how to take care of herself in magnificent ways. She found the gift in the pain. There is always a gift in the pain. If you don’t see it yet, be patient.
 
Another kind of haunting from the past is when you find that the past is repeating, then you have a whole other challenge to find out what is going on: what do you need to learn? Here’s a little example: let’s say someone puts a raw egg on the table and it rolls off, falls on the floor, and then breaks. If she keeps putting another egg in the same place, it will always roll off. She has to learn that she either needs to put the egg in something that won’t roll, or put the egg somewhere else. Lessons will keep repeating until we change. We have to change the way we react to things. For a lot of women this comes in the form of going for the same kind of men (the name and the face change but the relationship stays the same).
 
The bottom line about difficult memories from the past is that you can actually change the way you relate to them. You can send the images that haunt you in your mind’s eye away when they come up, or you can take the you that is in that memory and make that younger part of you safe right now.  Do not under estimate the power of imagination.
 
Be gentle with yourself and be sure you are surrounding yourself with kindness and strong boundaries. Trust that if you ask a question, the answers will come. We don’t always get the answers when we want them.
 
These ideas may be something you have to practice. It could work for you on the first time you think about them or the tenth time, but they you will get better and more skilled with practice. We all fall on our faces and then we just have to get up one more time. I know you’ll rise!
 
Love,
Aunt Laya