What is the secret to happiness? It's not really that complicated.
Step into gratitude.
I just heard the quote, "If you're grateful for everything, you're grateful for nothing," and that means get detailed with your gratitude. I just took a workshop that taught us to be very detailed with gratitude. How detailed? Well, think of something you're grateful for. Do you love to paint? How about the hairs of smallest brush you have or the color carmine red? Are you grateful for summer? Well, how about gratitude for the leaves of your favorite shade tree, or the pulp in lemons?
Are you starting to get the idea? So here's the thing: You have to practice gratitude every day; really do it. Personally I usually start each morning with a very short prayer of gratitude for coming back into the world. I like to go to sleep listing things I'm grateful for as I fall asleep. When I'm really feeling down, I like to play what I call "The Gratitude Game" with my husband or a friend. Take turns listing things you're grateful for.
If you find it hard to think about what you might be grateful for, then this is really the right exercise for you. Think about the sparkle on the greeting card you got. Think about the knobs on the drawers that make them easy to open. Think about the filter on your faucet so you don't get sand in your water.
Still not sure? Experiment with this daily for a month and I guarantee your life and attitude will change for the better. You will feel better and happier. Start now.
"You can't stop a bird from flying over your head.
You can stop it from building a nest in your hair."
What does that mean? Thoughts will fly in and out of your mind. YOU choose which thoughts you want to grow and which thoughts to let go of.
Everyone has thoughts that are positive and negative. Some thoughts will just not serve you if you let them run you. For example, worry, there is nothing about worry that will serve you. You can do something about a situation that is troublesome but sitting and worrying about it won't do a thing for you or anyone else.
Some thoughts might make you angry if you stop to think about it. So why spend your time in upset? If there is something you can do to make changes to your life for the better, that is great. Going over and over something that is negative will only distract you from the positive that can comfort, build or nourish you.
If you spend time thinking about something your friend/family/coworker did that hurt you how will that serve you? Need to set boundaries? OK, so set them! If it's a pretty much regular relationship, you have a choice to look at the dark side of that person or pick a new thought that will change your own chemistry for the better.
If something pops into your mind that does not serve you, shoo it away!
Love and blessings,
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How do you know if you had a good day or a bad day? Most people would say it was a good day if something good happened to them or it was a bad day if something bad happened to them.
It might be a bad day if your phone crashes or someone yells at you. It might be a good day if you find money or make all the green lights.
(Are you ready for a small change in thinking with HUGE results!?!)
The thing is, there is a whole world over which we have no control--it's a world where God's in charge of everything that happens to us. On the other hand, we are in charge of everything that comes from us. This is where our free choice comes in.
You get to choose if you want to put good into your world from you. It is a new paradigm or way of thinking to let a good day be not what happened to you, but rather what good is coming from you.
You can make every day a great day with this way of thinking no matter what it looks like. I know you can do this because you are good.
with gratitude to sweetclipart.com
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There are a number of things in life that you might want to release:
I'm exhausted just thinking about this partial list of possibilities. Right now is a great time to "change" your way of doing things if you need to let go of the old crap and bring in more of what you really love.
What ever "it" is that you want to get over, there are things you can do to let go. The question is, do you really want to "get over it"? Do you really want to let it go? Sometimes there is an aspect inside of each of us that is actually served by holding on. Could it be that you just know what "it" is and letting "it" go means you have to go into new territory?
You could just keep going until you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Probably you've gotten over disappointments or upset in your past. There is probably something in your life that you can look back on and not feel so upset thinking about it. So you know it's possible.
Now, you just have to decide that you want to let go and the opportunity to release will show up. Maybe this blog post is just that for you! So if you're really ready experiment with these few tips and see what happens.
Let it flow, then let it go, also called free-form writing or automatic writing. Put all the upset onto a piece of paper; then destroy the paper. (This is best if done by hand.) Don't read it, just destroy it. Believe me when I tell you that if you keep it and later find it, all the upset can come flooding back. If you destroy it, you may actually forget the details of your upset!
Steep yourself in the new thought. That means that you surround yourself in an environment that squeezes out the old, unwanted thoughts or even emotions. I keep ideas in the back of my mind to go to when I find myself thinking things I don't want to think. You can do this with uplifting music (or even one song that you can go to), a favorite food (someone I know uses sushi), or pictures you cut out of a magazine. Try taking photos of the things that make you the happiest in your daily life, then print them and surround yourself with what you love.
Ask. Who are you asking? Ask the highest aspect of your soul, or ask God; ask your angels (you do know that everyone, everyone, has angels around all the time, right?). What are you asking? Ask for Divine assistance in releasing what needs to be released. Ask to forget the things that upset you. Memories can and often do fade with age. Some of those memories are worth forgetting.
Declare that you are releasing, letting go, or getting over it. Until it is real because it will become your new reality if you really want it to. Seriously.
This doesn't necessarily all happen at once. It can, but if it doesn't, know that the movement into being free from "it" is happening step by sweet step.
You can do this!
Do something right now (baby steps!!) while you're thinking of it.
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I write about happiness often, here's a great, GREAT little video for you.
Try this and let me know what happens. Really!
Watch this short video called "Can You Trust Your Eyes?" and then keep reading
So now you understand that your eyes give information to your brain and your brain fills in more information. Only you've just seen that even when something is provable, that doesn't mean you'll see it as it is.
What if our other perceptions were like that too? What if you think something is one way but in fact, it might not be at all? Maybe you can use this to your advantage.
What I'm trying to get to is a sort of "fake it 'til you make it" kind of thinking, or perhaps "reframing". If you can bring yourself more peace and well being on the inside by allowing yourself to know that perhaps there is a "benefit of the doubt" to a situation that is causing you mental or emotional anguish. Perhaps you can even imagine your way out of mental or emotional pain.
Can you think of ways you can use this idea to give yourself the gift of freedom? What you thought was dark grey was really light grey visually, so maybe what you thought was not so nice, could really turn out to have a big benefit for you?
What are the ways you can think of to use this idea to make some area of your life happier?
Let me know,
We all just need to hear this stuff over and over and over and over...
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
It may seem like you're trying and trying to change things in your life but nothing's changing, nothing's moving. I am here to tell you my dear reader, that even if you don't see results right now, you are effecting change in your life.
Each small change you make will, over time, have a big impact.
If you eat at a fast food restaurant one time it's not really a big deal. But if you each fast food every day, you will gain weight. If you study a new language one time, you will not speak a new language. But if you study every day for a set time--even five minutes a day--you will learn to speak that new language. Same with exercise of course. If you exercise only one time, even for five hours, it will not have the same impact as exercising every day for 15 or 20 minutes.
The small changes you make in your life do have an impact even if you don't see it right away. So stay strong, be patient, and keep on making those little tweaks so that you are loving and living happier and healthier.
You really can do this!
The problem with communication is that people think it's done just because they said something one time.
You think you told your _______ (fill in the blank: spouse, friend, parent, child, coworker, employee, employer...) about ______ (fill in the blank: your plans, your thoughts, your feelings, when you are coming home etc.) and in fact you did say what you wanted to say. But could they really hear you?
Sometimes I'm working on the computer (like right now when I write these posts) and my husband says something to me. I am in another world. Even though we are in the same room, I may not even register anything more than the fact that he just said something, but what ever the heck he said, it didn't register.
Guideline #1: Make sure you are both fully present. Have eye contact and that the person you're speaking with is really with you and not in another mental realm.
Guideline #2: Benefit of the doubt.
Assume harmless intentions.
How many times have you said something with only good intentions just to have the other person jump all over you like you just attacked? Or have you been on the other end, and thought the other person was putting you down only to discover later that wasn't the case at all?
Once someone said something that could have been taken as a complete put down. The man that said it to me was a great teacher and very generous of spirit so I took it as feedback. I made a comment that horrified him because he then understood how I misunderstood what he meant. He was actually trying to be modest of his own position, not put me down. Wow, so glad that was cleared up.
Apply these two simple tips for better connections in communicating. Over time these tips will add up to much better results.
"A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable
but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." ~ George Bernard Shaw
Don't be afraid of making mistakes. It's one of the ways we learn. Learn from your mistakes and then move forward.
Dream your dreams, do the thing that gives your life meaning. If you're doing something that doesn't make your heart sing--in the big picture, nothing is always perfectly wonderful, there are challenges in even the best of choices--you can always change direction, change your mind, regroup, and move ahead in the direction you want to be moving!
One of the beautiful gifts that life experience brings is that each mistake you make shapes you. You have more experience and you get to make more choices from a position of deeper understanding.
Be true to you. (and be honest with yourself!)
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~ Albert Einstein
Thanks to morguefile for the photo
Live the extraordinary life you deserve.
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Aunt Laya inspires and encourages you to live the life you want for yourself!